


Live Without Me

by Serenity4Lifeee



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, I really need to listen to happier things, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Letters, Sad, Suicide Notes, um...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28142139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenity4Lifeee/pseuds/Serenity4Lifeee
Summary: Tooru loved him. Tooru was sorry. It wasn’t his fault.Hajime hadn’t done anything wrong.It felt like he’d done everything wrong.orIwaizumi finds a letter addressed to him and regrets not taking a chance.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 9





	Live Without Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I listen to sad poems and audios on YouTube...
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the pain?

_ Dear Iwa-chan, _

_ It’s funny to me… how I knew this day would always come but I kept that small sliver of hope that it wouldn’t; that one day you would look at me and decide you could see more than just a best friend. That you could look at me and decide it was enough to take that leap I know we both wanted to take. Don’t get me wrong, being your best friend was the absolute light of my life. You made me so happy, Hajime. There was never a day I didn’t look at you and feel as if some of the weight I carried was lifted off my shoulders. _

_ You made me want to live and for that I am so unbelievably grateful. Now you have more important duties that don’t involve taking care of me so I guess this is a sort of thank you letter. You took care of me when nobody else really knew how. Every year was wonderful and now I hope the rest of your years are just as great. That beautiful wife of yours is truly lucky to have you. I hope she knows just how special you are, Hajime. _

_ I don’t want anyone to feel guilty for this. It was nobody's fault but my own. I couldn’t get out of my own head and I don’t think there was anything anyone could’ve done to help me. I’m at least happy that I got to see you settle down. I hope she keeps that smile on your face. You look really good when you smile. _

_ I know you’re probably mad at me for doing this. You probably think I’m taking the easy way out. I guess you’re right, because now I don’t have to keep facing reality. _

_ I love you, Hajime. I think I’ve always loved you, even when we were kids and didn’t know the true meaning of love. Everything about you made my heart race and I wanted so badly to stay by your side. I think I realized that she was good enough to finally slip into my place and take care of you when there were no more chances left for us. I know how you feel about me and I just hope she’s enough to help you heal because I know for a fact that you do love her. It’s why it makes doing this just a little bit easier. _

_ Please know I didn’t do this to cause you pain. I did this for me, because I’m selfish, so don’t blame yourself. _

_ I want you to live a long life with her and to have lots of adorable little babies! _

_ I know you’ll make it, Hajime. _

_ I’m sorry that I couldn’t. _

_ I love you so much, Iwa-chan. Never forget that. _

_ Thank you for everything, _

_ Oikawa Tooru _

  
  


Hajime stared down at the letter, silent tears slipping down his face and onto the white sheet of paper. His hand shook to the point he could barely make out the words anymore and finally he crumpled to the ground, legs giving out under the heavy weight of his grief.

Tooru was dead. He had killed himself, leaving Hajime alone with a heart that didn’t seem quite capable of beating on its own without that familiar piece that had never failed to lift him up and keep him going whenever he thought his lungs might collapse.

Hajime couldn’t breath. He couldn’t do anything but shake as he choked on his sobs, his lungs trying desperately to heave in oxygen that wouldn’t come. The words repeated over and over in his mind like a taunt.

Tooru loved him. Tooru was sorry. It wasn’t his fault.

Hajime hadn’t done anything wrong.

It felt like he’d done everything wrong. He’d taken a different path because the one that led him to what he truly wanted was too messy. He’d picked easy and now his best friend was dead, lying somewhere beyond the door.

Tooru was dead.

Hajime couldn’t breath.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
